MY SOUL ASYLUM

I was having my quiet time this morning and have realized a lot of things. I’ve waited for these realizations for quite some time.

Yesterday’s over. Today’s a new start for me.
I read Ezekiel 36:25-27 and here’s what I got:>>>

                "I will  sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean;
                 I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols.
                 I WILL GIVE YOU A NEW HEART & PUT A NEW SPIRIT IN YOU.
                 I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
                 And I will put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees
                      & be careful to keep my laws."

It was so clear that I couldnt ask for more than the Love I got from Him. All I need is Him. Be satisfied by Him. I just had to do a 180 degree-turn to completely enjoy life with Him.

Nothing else matters to me now.. I got Him!

I’d like to encourage myself and everyone with this again..
I’ve posted this before.. I just feel like reposting this now. I’ve
been dragged down for these past few days..same issue, same thing. I
think God is trying to tell me something about this situation… I have to seek Him more in this area. Thanks to those people who are always there and are standing with me in prayers.

There
would always be times in our lives that we feel like giving up
especially with the circumstances that we are experiencing. Sometimes
when what we see is so far out… when it’s so different from what we
are expecting to happen… we feel like quitting, or we end up
complaining. I have learned that we shouldnt be. We shouldnt quit. Why?
simply because God sees everything and he’s in control. He’s powerful.
His delay doesnt mean denial...(we heard of this a lot of times!).
Not only that, He cares so much for us and he loves us and doesnt want
to see us defeated. So cheer up.. smile.. stand up and Fight a good
fight of FAITH!

hope this makes sense to you.

"With
the great breakthroughs come the most violent shaking and turbulence.
Disorientation, dizziness, loss of direction, and even fear and
discouragement can occur just before a breakthrough."
 
(THE PROMISE THAT NO ONE WANTS by Ptr. Joey Bonifacio)

• "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."                -~Hebrews 10:23~
• "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God , you will receive what He has promised." ~Hebrews10:36~
• "Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." ~Hebrews11:1~

So much has happened. 

Right
now my life is blessed. No where near perfect but not awful enough to
complain. I’ve continued to surround myself with positive people and
I’m always surrounded by love. I’ve even found a love much deeper than
I ever thought possible. I guess my life has taken a turn for the
better.

But
just recently…very recently, there’s a confusion in my heart. I
talked it over with my housemate last Saturday…I needed someone to
pray for me.. (thank you Tims!). I guess Im just too impatient to see
clear answers to my questions.

…if you had the chance to just get away.. would you?
Start over with only some simple people you love and adore.
Leave behind those who brought you either a heartbreak
or a simple band aid on your heart.

I really dont know.
I couldnt figure out yet on what to do next and which way to go.
I guess I am just too confused right now.
I mean, my heart is.

I need to seek God more on this area.
I know my God is sovereign.
My heart probably is deceiving me… misleading me.

I dont know….

Well, again.. I must seek him more…
and I hope to get clear answers so soon.
I dont want to be confused esp with a heart issue.

I think for now I’ll just have to continue to pray
and give God the glory for all he has done, is doing and will do in my life.  I think I should learn how to wait patiently…
….to patiently  wait on God. 
I think I must learn how to enjoy this season instead of thinking too much.

I think I should rest now… my mind, body and my heart need to rest.

I am still in awe of God’s love and faithfulness in my life. I am not perfect yet his love for me is just so perfect. At the start of the year (or even before it started), I began to write my faith goals for 2008. You may click on this link if you want to go back to it again.. faith goals  (The complete list is in my private journal.)

Its just the 5th month of the year and God has already fulfilled some of his promises. And I am confident that He will fulfill everything that He has promised.

It’s just the 5th month and I’ve been through a lot and God has done a lot of shaking and pruning and molding me into what I should become. And I know that He’s not done with me yet. There’s more to come. Im still in the process of becoming into the woman that God wants me to be. It’s not easy. It wasnt easy. I had to let go of a lot of things, people, relationships, habits, addictions.. extra baggages. I shed a lot of tears and held on to some things for so long but I knew that I had to be quick to OBEY.

I laughed, enjoyed and spent time with special people in my life.. celebrated my 26th birthday with people close to my heart…those I call my family and real friends. I also  experienced rejection, more pain, accusations and pesecution.. I was hurt. I cried a lot after laughing a lot. I was misunderstood and alienated. Some people just hated me and I was threatened a lot of times. I lost my job and was so distressed.  ALL of these happened within just the first 4 months of the year. It’s unbelievable how things happened so fast.

Nevertheless, abrupt or not.. I still desire to know HIM more and seek Him more. All I had in my nothingness was Him. He has been telling me to WAIT because what he has prepared is just nothing to what I have been going through. I had to rejoice amidst all of it. I just cannot look away.. I just cannot escape from Him. I had to celebrate.

Now it’s just the 1st of May but I already have a long list of  my breakthroughs for this year.

I thank God for my house and my housemates (my housemates are blessings to me)..i just really love our house, it’s near the center, its within Cebu City, it’s safe, it’s green and i love it!. I call it our HOME. It’s everyone’s home.

* I thank God for the legal papers for Anton has been done and that everything has been settled now with his father. I hope that this is going to be a good start..  a good start of everything. (restoration,forgiveness,reconciliation,his salvation, friendship,family).

* I thank God for Anton. I thank Him for being with him everyday.  Anton now knows how to pray and sing along with some christian songs.. (amazing!).

* I thank God for my tickets to Singapore/Malaysia for this December. I am praying that Anton would be able to go with me as I visit my Aunt there.

* I thank God for my sister’s hunger for God. Everytime I see her reading God’s word and spending time with him, I couldnt help but praise God for his faithfulness.

* I thank God for my neighbors upstairs and our friends (you know who you are..hehehe) who always stays with us. I always feel so blessed everytime I see them at home.

* I thank God for Anton’s new yaya.. she’s not just our helper or yaya but she’s a family to us. I’ve been praying and waiting for 6 months and now, I got someone who also desires to know God more. You’d be amazed everytime she sings christians songs while doing the housechores and whenever she gets so excited to listen to Pastor Raymond’s preachings every Saturday or Sunday. She just cant get over with it right away..she keeps on talking about it even when we get home from church.

* I thank God for my mom and my aunt who never fail to support me and help me at those times that I had nothing. I just can wait to see them enjoying a relationship with God.

* I thank God for women in my life like Ate Cherry and Axie and Mina. They gave me the guidance and advices that I needed.

* I thank God for my new JOB. (Highly-favored? yes I am! I’m finally done with the CALL CENTER thingee!). I just got a home-based job. I got this job a few days after I lost my previous job. I am earning money, helping people and spending time with Anton…all at the same time. I’ve been praying for this since October. (I know Im being trained to be a housewife..hehehe). I got God’s favor with this job.. I just cant write everything here but God has been giving me surprises almost everyday since I got this job(even until now). It is through this job that I got a LAPTOP and an internet connection here in our new place.

* I thank God for my boss and his wife. He said that he himself cannot understand why he’s been giving me favors and has trusted me from the first day he hired me..  I knew that it was God all along… He  planned it all. I am so blessed by them. He’s the best boss ever! (next to my BIG boss..heheh)

* I thank God for our TV- 21 inches, colored and cable ready at P1,000.00 only (pay when able) plus free delivery. heheheh…. where would you get a tv like that? thanks to Mr. & Mrs Reyes..  Anton and I and my other housemates are so blessed!

* I thank God for moving me to the married group. I am now surrounded with women who always gave me advises esp with marriage stuff. ( I still love Axie though..heeheh.. its just that it’s so different this time! its exciting!)  waaahhh!!!  I couldnt believe I am now part of their group.. I am learning a lot. Thanks to Mina my new leader, who’s always there for me. Thanks to Apple,Anne,Mina R. and Mina-Cesar for sharing the lessons they’ve learned in relationships/marriage. I am encouraged & excited.

* and.. I thank God for his unfailing love and for not giving up on me. I thank him for this relationship, for this intimacy with Him. I just cant contain all the blessings that he has been pouring out into my life. Indeed, this year (and the coming years) is a year of BREAKTHROUGHS, DOUBLE INHERITANCE, SALVATION, a year where YOKES WILL BE OFF OF OUR LIVES, PRODUCTION, RESTORATION, INTIMACY WITH GOD and NEW BEGINNINGS.   

…

& its not the end yet.. it’s just starting.

uhmmm….to be honest, yes,.. i am inlove. and i need not go further.. it is true, i am inlove. so let’s go ahead and talk about this…..

…Love.

what is it?

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines it as a “warm attachment, enthusiasm or affection for something or someone.” Not exactly something any of us would want to do without. How can anyone deny that having (or receiving) a sense of enthusiasm, warmth, or affection for or from others is not a constant fix on many of our daily prayer lists?

For those of you who are feeling underappreciated at work, underappreciated by family members and friends, or at times, may even feel underappreciated by God, it easy to see how we all could use a little bit of the kind of love Webster describes above. Well…yeah..i’ve felt that at times, i even felt it a while ago..i was closed to crying on the street.. i just had to stop it cos some friends came.. (i had to hide it and keep that so-called "emotion"). *there’s just a slight problem: God describes love a totally different way.

1 Corinthians 13 (a passage familiar to many of us) has a very interesting way of describing love.

Love suffers long. And is kind. (Sounds strange, right? Honestly, who wants to be kind after suffering?)

Love does not envy. Love does not boast or is proud. Love does not behave rudely. It is not easily angered. It keeps no wrongs. (Keeps no wrongs? Not proud? You must not know what I’m going through…)

Love rejoices in truth. It bears all things. Believes all things. Love hopes all things. Endures all things. (Bearing? Enduring? What happen to the warmth? The affection?)

Love never fails.

Not exactly the kind of love list you and I make as believers, is it?

TOUGH, isnt it? but that’s just what love is: tough.

Are you ready to love? to receive it? and to give it?

"i dont mind and you dont matter…it doesnt matter."

"let me share this to you.. it’s written by Dr. Jack Graham.. hope you will be blessed by this as you read on…"

"How Jesus Meets the Deepest Longings of Your Heart "

More than likely, you’ve heard the story out of the New Testament of the chief tax collector, a man named Zacchaeus. As I have read his story over and over, I have come to realize that Zacchaeus’ story is everyone’s story-including yours and mine.

As you read his story, you come to realize that Zacchaeus illustrates the four basic weaknesses and needs of every human heart: the feeling of emptiness, the feeling of loneliness, the weight of guilt, and the fear of death.

There really are some great life-lessons you and I can learn as we look at this man. Let’s pick up his story in Luke 19:1-9:

Then Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. Now behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector, and he was rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not because of the crowd, for he was of short stature. So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see Him, for He was going to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said to him, "Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house." So he made haste and came down, and received Him joyfully. But when they saw it, they all complained, saying, "He has gone to be a guest with a man who is a sinner." Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold." And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham; for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

Zacchaeus was a wealthy man in his day, but he was empty inside. His story is a great reminder that it doesn’t matter how well off you are financially or physically, there is a need deep within every human heart to be filled with something that will last…something that will fill that emptiness we feel in souls.

Friend, you and I were made to know God, to love God, to experience grace, and to know true, saving faith in Him.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have…how much status you achieve…or how many things you have. You need God because you were made to know Him…just like Zacchaeus was.

But Zacchaeus had another problem. He was lonely. He was a Jew working for the Romans to collect taxes, one of the most hated professions of that day. He was skimming off the top, swindling and scandalizing his friends. Zacchaeus was a man who seemingly had no conscience-and no friends. He was an outcast of society! As a result, he was a very lonely man…just like so many people today. We were made to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, so we naturally feel lonely without Him. And this is how Zacchaeus felt. Along with that loneliness, Zacchaeus carried around a huge weight of guilt…a feeling everyone experiences.

Some people try to numb the pain of guilt with excessive alcohol consumption, illicit drug use, or unhealthy relationships. But no matter how you try to hide it…no matter how far you may try to run, you will never be able to dissolve that sense of guilt apart from a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Finally, just like anyone who doesn’t have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, Zacchaeus was afraid to die. And while most people don’t admit this fact, it’s true.

Even though many considered Zacchaeus a waste case, Jesus knew that he was empty and lonely…Jesus knew that he felt guilty…and Jesus knew that he was afraid to die. And that’s why Jesus stopped!

I don’t know where you may be in life today, my friend. Maybe you can relate to one or more of Zacchaeus’ weaknesses. Whatever your station may be today…good, bad, rich or poor…I hope you have come to realize all that God is offering you through Jesus Christ…the Friend of the wounded heart.

Because through Jesus you can indeed know fullness for your emptiness, forgiveness for your guilt, and intimacy with God for your loneliness. And through Him you have the ultimate victory, the victory over death.