MY SOUL ASYLUM

"God still believes in the power of love. He believes that if you loveenough and for long enough, people will finally come to their senses and respond to that love."

I am soo happy with whats goin on since Sunday. We did talk Sunday midnight until 3am and it was all worth it. My prayer is now partly answered.. heheheh.. we have found ways to compromise and avoid heated discussions and all. We need to do this not just for ourselves but for our little angel, Antonio. =)

I soo thank God for staying with me up till now. I thank him that we are now okay and we are now starting to live with the peace and joy that Ive been askin for since November. I am now reminded that God’s delay doesnt mean denial. I’ll just have to press on and persevere… and FOCUS then everything will be completely alright. Its never the end of the world yet.. things could happen as God wills it to happen. I am full of love right now… I just cant stop falling even more for HIM… God’s love is overflowing within me and that’s the only reason of it all. I am so excited with what’s goin to happen next. I know in time, He will surely give me the desires of my heart and I believe I receive it and it will happen by faith.

Well, i just pray that GOd will continue to bless him even more.. and guide him and be with him always.. I do love him (but I love God more..heheheh) and I want him to have the best in this world.. and experience how GOd loves him too.

(sakit ako tummy.. need to go now.. buy pa ko diapers and milk and vitamins and everything for my beloved son. i am just soo joyful right now bisan ug mulikoy ni akong utok panagsa..heheheh.. thank you Lord.)

most of the time, i need to be reminded of God’s promises.. I’ve been bad and been blinded by my anger and pain.. so pls remind me of these always..

* trust God. I am not afraid. What can man do to me? Psalm 56:11

*Don’t be afraid, because I am with you. Don’t be intimidated; I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will support you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10

*The Lord is my light and my salvation. Who is there to fear? The Lord is my life’s fortress. Who is there to be afraid of? Psalm 27:1

*God didn’t give us a cowardly spirit but a spirit of power, love, and good judgment. 2 Timothy 1:7

*No fear exists where his love is. Rather, perfect love gets rid of fear, because fear involves punishment. The person who lives in fear doesn’t have perfect love. love for him. 1 John 4:18

*He will put his angels in charge of you to protect you in all your ways. Psalm 91:11

*Why are you discouraged, my soul? Why are you so restless? Put your hope in God, because I will still praise him. He is my savior and my God. Psalm 42:11

*We were saved with this hope in mind. If we hope for something we already see, it’s not really hope. Who hopes for what can be seen? But if we hope for what we don’t see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. Romans 8:24-25

*Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up. 1Corinthians 13:7

*God our Father loved us and by his kindness a gave us everlasting encouragement and good hope. Together with our Lord Jesus Christ, may he encourage and strengthen you to do and say everything that is good. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

*As high as the heavens are above the earth—that is how vast his mercy is toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west—that is how far he has removed our rebellious acts from himself. Psalm 103:11-12

*Don’t be sad because the joy you have in the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10b

*Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love which Christ Jesus our Lord shows us. We can’t be separated by death or life, by angels or rulers, by anything in the present or anything in the future, by forces or powers in the world below or anything else in creation. Romans 8:33b-39

*I fall asleep in peace the moment I lie down because you alone, O Lord, enable me to live securely. Psalm 4:8

*Let go of your concerns! Then you will know that I am God. I rule the Nations. I rule the Earth. Psalm 46:10

*I’m leaving you peace. I’m giving you my peace. I don’t give you the kind of peace that the world gives. So don’t be troubled or cowardly. John 14:27

*Try to live peacefully with everyone, and try to live holy lives, because if you don’t you will not see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14

*People who want to live a full life and enjoy good days must keep their tongues from saying evil things… they must turn away from evil and do good. They must seek peace and pursue it. 1 Peter 3:10-11

*God saved you through faith as an act of kindness. You had nothing to do with it. Being saved is a gift from God. Ephesians 2:8

*Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks. Then God’s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

this song speaks for itself.. ive been hearin this over and over again everyday at work, and I just love it soo much. i could cry with the message of this song and its not just because i love it but because its what’s been happening in  my life..its whats been happening to me for the past two months, and this would be another proof that God speaks to us in HIS own special way. He speaks to me, though for many times Ive been so stubborn and chose not to listen to what HE has been trying to tell me. I hurt HIM and I hurt myself and I hurt those people whom Ive loved and hated.. Ive hurt a lot of people because im stubborn. I ignored the lessons HE has for me. I just simply ignored HIM cos I want things my way.. I didnt want to loose the man i wanna be with for the rest of my life.. I completely forgot that GOD is in total control, that HE has the best plans for my life, that HE doesnt want me to settle for anything less, that HE can always give me the desires of my heart if i just trust HIM and leave everything to HIM, that everything in this world needs pruning for it to become more beautiful and wonderful, that He has reasons for all of these, He wants me to LET GO and completely TRUST HIM cos again, as Ive said.. HE IS IN CONTROL. I know I should be still and let God deal with everything and everyone who’s been hurting me. BE STILL JEN.. BE STILL! ukie? okay.

(unsaon man gahi man jud ko ug ulo gud.. magtuman jud pirmi sa gusto.. hala sige! tan-awn ta asa kutob! maayo gani pinangga, dili pa pasagdan unta. di man minaw, sakitan nuon..)

***heres the song..

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Artist: Natalie Grant
Song Title: Held

…a special day for me. its 12:46am (Philippine time) and yes, i am now 24 years OLD. God is so good to have given me another year and Im glad that He is going through the pain with me. I am not giving up because I know that things happen for a reason and I know God knows what’s best for me. He will not leave me on my own. It maybe soo hurting or painful but Im moving on.. and holding on to HIM.

Its my birthday and I deserve a happy day. Ill be with my son later after work and the rest of the family. Although I havent heard from Nino yet, its okay. I know he remembers my special day, maybe he’s got some reasons why he never greeted me. I would understand him though I wish that this year’s birthday is happier than last year’s.. but all ive got are wishes and reminiscin..life’s just like that. I claim for the happiest birthday by next year!

I know i deserve to be happy.. so be it!

(KIBER SA MGA DRAMAS SA LIFE.. ALL OF THESE WILL SOON COME TO PASS..)

happy birthday Jen!

(Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV )

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17th.. right now, all i know is that im happy that he is happy with the gift i gave him..after all that had happened in the past two days, im just glad and thankful for everything. I know my hatred will just lead me to nowhere.. so I pray for me to completely LET GO, release the resentment and FORGIVE (esp the other girl)..

I also thank HIM for another year for the person whom i soo loved since those times when we were still together.. It is my prayer that he will always be guided and will have God in his heart above all things. AMEN.

*hApPy BiRtHdAy NINO! ;)*