"LORD, THIS IS SUCH A HARD AREA TO GIVE TO YOU. I DESPERATELY WANT TO HOLD ON TO IT, AND DO THINGS MY WAY. YET, I KNOW YOU ARE ASKING ME TO LAY IT IN YOUR HANDS, TO LET YOU TAKE CHARGE OF IT. SO, NOW, I GIVE IT TO YOU. NO MATTER WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO DO WITH THIS AREA OF MY LIFE, EVEN IF ITS SOMETHING I NEVER WOULD HAVE CHOSEN FOR MYSELF, I GIVE IT TO YOU. DO WITH ME WHAT YOU WILL. I AM YOURS." 
(just one of my personal favorites from Casting Crowns)
WHO AM I ?- Casting Crowns
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.
Chorus:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
Chorus:
Not because of who I am,
But because what of you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done.
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
Chorus:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
You told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
‘Cause I am yours.
I am yours.
I dont know why im getting flashbacks with the things that had happened to me.. i dont know and i dont understand why im reminded of my pain. There must be a reason for this.
Everything seems fine and better now. I knew from the start that God is dealing with my situation, that HE is just there… I know that HE hears every cry and HE knows my desires. He sees how unfair it was.. how cruel it was..how painful it was.. He sees & hears everything and may not be doing something for it by now, but I am sure that He knows what He’s going to do with my pain and my situation. I also know that Ive been so impatient (& i repent for this), I wanted HIM to rebuke them and reveal every dark secrets.. I wanted HIM to do something about their pride, selfishness and immoralities.. I was just being too impatient.. & I forgot that I must check on myself first, making sure that I am walking with HIM and that I see things through HIM, focusing on HIM alone. Human as I am, I sometimes fail. But God is trusthworthy. HE assured us that if we give HIM our problems & bitterness, HE is faithful to take care of those things & we can forgive. That restorative power of GOd’s love overwhelms me. I know Ill just have to set my mind on HIS words, promises, HIS love and not on my own emotions & circumstances.. I know I need to fully trust HIM everyday, wait for HIS timing & be reminded of these words from HIM:
Give your burdens to the Lord.
He will carry them
- Psalm 55:22 TLB
You have seen me tossing and turning through the night.
You have collected all my tears
and preserved them in Your bottle!
You have recorded every one in Your book
- Psalm 56:8 TLB
My circumstances have changed but my GOD has not changed. He is as close to me today as He was yesterday. He still loves me more than I can possibly comprehend. He still lives within me to meet this tragic, difficult circumstance for me & through me. I will not be destroyed because Im letting HIM face each second, each moment of each day in HIS strength, since mine is gone. Those who are against me will never succeed because whatever plans they have against me and whatever theyre doing to put me down.. theyre also doin that to HIM and are planning that for HIM. They will be held accountable and responsible for their actions. I cannot understand HIS ways, I do not know what HE is planning but I do know HIS heart. HE LOVES ME.
*Thank you Lord for rescuing me, for pulling me out of the depths. I know that I could not face life without you—Indeed, I would choose to not face life without you. But then, how could I separate YOU from me? You are my source of life– That breath that I breathe. You are my motivator in life– My reason for breathing, You are my goal in life–my prize–the finish line.*
" more than anything, i am now ready to wait for God’s plan for my life in HIS timing, no matter what it is or how long it would take, i just wanted peace again.. i just wanted to be lonely again.."
Lord, thank you for bringing me back to your loving arms. I am confident that you will stay with me through eternity. You’ve seen me hurt.. so hurt with what happened.. but YOU said that my tears are precious to YOU, that YOU are in me, weeping with me, being stabbed the same pain.. YOU understand. And that is all I need. Thats all the comfort that I’ve needed. THANK YOU..
…and now, I rest my case in you. I will let you deal with it and with the people involved. I will patiently wait for YOU.. with no agenda of my own, no demands of what I want to happen and what you must do, just simply with a perfect confidence & an open heart and open hands ready to receive that which YOU will choose and will do will be better than my best! Have your way God.. do your will.. I am yours. *hugs*
————————————————————————-
*Growing Your Soul*
By John Fischer
Your soul is the place where you know there is a God even before you meet Him. The soul is that in us which longs for the right thing. And once we come into a relationship with God, it’s the place where we commune with Him. The soul can be filled with God or devoid of Him, but if it is empty, God is the only thing that will fill it. We can throw all sorts of pleasures and loves in there, but none will satisfy like God, because the soul was made to long for Him and no other. When God breathed into Adam, he became a living soul, forever longing for God’s breath to fill him again.
So growing your soul means to enlarge your capacity for God and truth. It’s all about learning to walk with God — listening to Him through His word and through the natural revelations of Him that come through the things He has made, which includes all the people you know since they were made in God’s image. Growing your soul can also involve finding God in the ordinary life and activities we share in every day. It’s about being more conscious of the presence of God within you as you go about your normal routines of life. Growing your soul doesn’t only happen through spiritual activities like praying and reading the Bible; it can also happen in the way we do everything else. It’s a God-consciousness that enlarges as we grow it. When Paul says to pray without ceasing, he means to be more of a soul-conscious person.
This may be hard sometimes, even for the most mature of believers. We all go through times when everything around us seems dry and barren, spiritually. Our souls still long for God. David’s soul longed for God in a dry and weary land where there was no water (Psalm 63:1), and like a deer panting for water, his soul panted for the Lord (Psalm 42:1).
This is important to know, because it is not a longing that is over once we meet God. We still long for Him because we long to know Him more, and we sometimes lose sight of Him even though we know better. Just as we must regularly take in physical food in order to stay alive, our souls must have spiritual food in order to grow and be healthy. If your soul is undersized, it is because you haven’t been paying attention to it. It’s been telling you all along what it needs and wants. It’s time to do something about it.
Your Father knows what you need, before you ask Him. Matthew 6:8
Dear Father,
You are aware of everything that is going on in my world at the present time . . . what has happened in the past . . . and what is to come in my future. That is beyond my comprehension. You know all of my needs before I even tell You about them. That, too, is beyond my comprehension. But I accept it as Truth. I know it. And in spite of that, knowing, I enumerate all of my needs to You time after time. Of course, the presupposition would be that I don’t believe You heard me and You’re doing nothing about these crises of mine. Well, that’s wrong. It’s for my own benefit that I present them to You over and over again. I guess I think this will communicate to You how important they are to me. (I am so limited in my understanding of You.) Thank You that You have heard me as I talked to You and that You have taken these petitions and You are working Your mighty plan in each of them. In Your timing I will see and understand. My wisdom is infinitesimally small. Your wisdom is infinite.I refuse to tell You WHAT to do . . . but please confirm to me that You are DOING.
Ive finally found complete peace within. I have found joy and have released everything and everyone that God asked from me. Indeed the circumstances that Ive had wasnt easy, but am so glad that I have found the right solution- my maker, my lover, my bestfriend, my God…
although I know its not the end of it yet, even until now there are people who still want to put me down.. but am not afraid.. I know my conscience is clear, I know Im doin the right thing right now and I know where I am going. I am confident to say this that my future and my son’s future are already secured. I will never be shakened. I forgive them although I have no idea if these people feel sorry or not. Especially him.. i forgive him.. i still love him and I know God hears me… I believe for answered prayers.. I believe things will be revealed and he will be saved. *thank you Lord.*
*****VOICE OF TRUTH by Casting Crowns*****
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you’ll never win!"
"You’ll never win!"
Chorus:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand
But the giant’s calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you’ll never win!"
"You’ll never win!"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don’t seem so high
From on top of them lookin’ down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
THE PAST IS DEAD. It is done. It is over. It is finished. It is dust. It is a new day today. How will you choose to respond? There are issues from the past that we still have to contend with but God allows us to be part of the solution. Yes, God allows us to walk through many things so that we will be part of His answer. We have all experienced hurts and pains that we probably wished would have never happened.
It’s always amazing to hear testimonies of Christians that have walked through deep valleys and yet they honestly say, if I had to do it all over again, I would not change a thing. That’s seeing God’s hand in your life and knowing who we are in HIM.
Recently God had a dear sister speak a word over me. It was, “you have to know who you are in God”. We do have to know who we are in God. We have to know that the past is part of who we are and helped shape us into what we are but it doesn’t have to define the rest of our lives. In fact if we dwell on it and let it define the rest of our lives, bitterness and anger and the weeds will take root and choke out what God is doing in us. That’s not to deny His power but we have to relinquish control and let God heal us and move on!
THE PAST IS DEAD. Yesterday is already in the past. There are things from yesterday that still need to be addressed today, but God allowed us to walk through the problems of yesterday so that we can be a part of His solution today. God’s power is all encompassing. He is more than able to take the issues and hurts and pains and make it all right today, but we have to trust Him.
He wants us to be overcomers but we have to know in His will that we are, overcomers. I’m not talking about an identity issue — it’s an opportunity to see God’s power at work today! It’s the chance to see God do new things, new ways. It’s a chance to be formed once again on the potter’s wheel by our Creator so that we can be a vessel He can use today.
Release the past. Release it once and for all. Know who you are in God. You are an heir and a joint heir. You are His co-worker and laborer in the harvest. You are a friend of the King of all Kings!! You have worth. You have a place. You have God-ordained authority. REST IN GOD, TRUST IN GOD, LEAN ON GOD, let Him take control of your life and use you today.
THE PAST IS DEAD.
